So, You Think You’re a Rummy?

 To become a Certified Rummy, applicants must possess at least three of the following:

• A strong opinion about jerky 
• A favorite bar stool 
• A story that gets longer every time it’s told 
• A baseball hat with emotional significance 
• A friend named Mike, Larry, Sal, Paul, or “some guy from Hamden” 
• The ability to yell “try this” while handing someone food 
• A willingness to support questionable but delicious side hustles 
• Always respect for Papa Sarno and all founding Rummys

Before becoming a Certified Rummy, all applicants must take the sacred and highly unofficial Rummy Oath.

Traditionally performed:

• at a bar
• near a grill
• or while holding jerky

Applicants are encouraged to raise their right hand, beer, or bag of jerky during recitation.

I hereby swear loyalty to Rummy Nation,
its founding fathers, founding Rummys, and all associated nonsense.

I promise to uphold the sacred traditions of:
exaggerated storytelling,
unnecessary confidence,
loud opinions,
and the honorable distribution of beef jerky.

I understand that every gathering may become a ceremony,
every conversation may become a debate,
and every flavor may eventually become legendary.

I pledge to support my fellow Rummys,
respect the jerky, honor the hat,
and never leave a friend eating gas station snacks.

I acknowledge that no story should ever remain a reasonable length,
no sports argument is ever truly over,
and no bag of jerky survives untouched for long.

Above all else,
I promise to stand up for my right to booze and eat jerky.

No Rummy certification is complete without mastering the official gesture of Rummy Nation:

• Arm extended.
• Palm down.
• Index finger pointed directly at your pal.
• Thumb extended outward to the side.

This sacred gesture serves many purposes, including:

• greeting fellow Rummys 
• identifying trusted associates 
• acknowledging nonsense 
• selecting the next round purchaser 
• and appearing in nearly every documented photograph in Rummy Nation history 

The Rummy Point is considered an essential skill for all certified members.

Applicants are encouraged to:

• practice often 
• perfect form in the mirror 
• maintain confidence during execution 
• and never point weakly 

*Improper technique may result in probationary Rummy status.